[A heartbeat]

14/11/08 - :

Ahhh...

After much deliberation, i've decided to convey all the jumbled up thoughts in my head over this awful period! Generally, i really don't like commenting on my papers cos how i feel might not be how others feel. Plus, i've always preferred to stay optimistic about things even if i know it will go right down the drain! But this time, i've decided to take a more realistic front. Honestly, it's especially scary when i feel i've done horridly and others go like, ''oh its okay wad.'' or worst, i thought it went fine but people go like, ''crap! fail la fail la.'' Could i have been not smart enough to figure out the so called 'easypeasy' answers to the paper or was i being overly confident when i just say it was okay? Goodness, it's always in times like this that i feel so torn as a mere mortal! Haha ok, did i just sound the most pessimisstic ever? Yeah. I feel exactly like that? Anyway, so just to summarise those times when i said 'okay' it actually meant:
For gp, i didn't finish my AQ the way i intended it to and for summary, i don't know if i've picked out the correct points cos there was this whole chunk of rhetorical questions in the passage which left me unsure. Plus the questions were like not our usual sort, so..rahh...As for chem! Chem's always been one love-hate subject for me. Love because it always kept me fascinated how those particles react and stuff, but hate because it's just one tough topic to grasp! And it doesn't help when u have a tutor who doesn't quite know her stuff most of the time! Boo. Seriously. What's a good chem tuition tutor whom u only see once a week when others can have good school tutors and whom they see EVERYday? Oh and, u know i kept thinking can people who have done horridly for prelims hold high hopes for the eventual results? I mean i really don't wanna be unrealistic. For bio, i wanted to scream just-gimme-a-break ok? Like it was mostly application. So u've gotta think on the spot. Which means like u'd never know if u're correct or wrong, cos if u don't reason like the examiners do, u're dead. Not just dead. I can imagine a butcher whipping his knife and mincing. Minced meat-me, me-minced meat. Gosh. So for econs, crap, i really had better hopes for it! But, all that hopes were smashed when i started reading question1! One of the parts went like, ''discuss if the trends btwn rate of inflation and unemployment was stable for figure 1 and 2.''What the heck's 'stable'? Plus the two figures showed differing trends midway for two different countries. So stable means directly related vs inversely related or changes drastically vs subtle changes, or worst, something else? I dunno. Ughs. Plus there was a time constrain which i hardly experience before. My hand was so crammed from scribbling at the end of it! And all the time, the wise words of our dear tutor ''use your brains! must evaluate! use your brains! must evaluate!'' just kept ringing in my head! Well, i certainly hope i did.

Okay whew. After this much agony, i'm finally down to two bio papers. I gotta breathe man.
Nevertheless, i do believe that 'Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible!' So i'm gonna cast all my worries to our Father.

Isaiah 41:10
Do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
(NIV)

Keep going for the rest of the papers people!

_.a heart beat._ 17:06

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