[A heartbeat]

29/10/07 - :

When Narcissus died, the goddesses of the forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into a lake of salty tears.
"Why do you weep?" the goddesses asked.
"I weep for Narcissus,"the lake replied.
"Ah, it is not surprised that you weep for Narcissus," they said, "for though we always pursued im in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand."
"But... was Narcissus beautiful?" the lake asked.
"Who better than you to know that?" the goddesses said in wonder, "After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself."
"I weep for Narcissus, but I never notices that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because , each time he knelt beside my banks, I would see in the depths of his eyes, my beauty reflected."...

-an adaptation from the Alchemist

For those who do not know, Narcissus was the man who was strangely entranced by his own exotic and beautiful reflection in the lake. Staring at it everyday, he has unknowingly fell in love with himself. Devastated when the image dissipates at his mere touch of the waters, he eventually died... admiring his very own image. Tale has it told that the goddesses took pity on him and named the flower that grew beside the lake after his death Narcissus.

Well, i grew up reading folk tales, fairy tales, tall tales, long tale, all sorts, i just loved them all. And familiar with the usual ending of this story in particular, i was pretty surprised at this version's, the lake's version. Haha. I guess it pretty much reflects the Narcissusism in all of us, whether we're 'beautiful' or not in any ways, it always seem easier to think the best of ourselves and as a result, fail to notice that of others. In other words, maybe if we take a second look at others and stop taking only ourselves into consideration, we might just be able to better appreciate the good in others and value them for that. Yep. I don't wanna be called difficult no more, so that just about sums up my own self-solution for all those, okay fine petty, whatever grudges i've held against y-o-u, you! Yep. You almost made me forget how to be me though.

Okay. Yays! Today, went shopping for the right dress and stuff. Took some 8hrs for that. From city hall, bugis to orchard. Ah well. We went everywhere, tried on everything and finally, viola, saw it like it was the right ONE all along. Whew. Good therapy. Now, work starts. =) The happy way.

_.a heart beat._ 20:47

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25/10/07 - :

Gone is the euphoria since we came back from our visit to OCS today, nevertheless, i totally enjoyed myself there! Haha. My arms are still aching from lifting the whatever-it-is-called rifle at the shooting trials, but i think that was the most exciting part of it all! Every bullet i shot hit the targets spot on! Yea and the officer partner attached to me said i was good, like really good. Hahaha..oh but i think he was just trying to be 'encouraging' cos i was shaking a lot just carrying those uber heavy arms, even with both hands! Haha still he shook my hands like before to intro and then again after the shooting excercise. Hmm that was polite. Haha anyway, it sure was a great experience.

They live in pretty much like a chalet there - spacious clean and huge canteen, 2 per bedroom but with a desktop in each plus INTERNET access, air-conditioned hall, yummy food rations(bro says only these ppl are fed the best food..haha), football court, tennis courts, 4m-deep pool, squash courts, gym hall etc. Wow. Minus the tough trainings, i think it's like every singaporean guy's dream place for army vocation or something. Our tour guide was really nice too. Lihao's his name. Didn't realise he too was from ACJC till he said he was from guitar ensemble too!! Haha. What a coincidence. And i asked him why didn't come back to visit us? Haha then i realised how stupid the question was, he's in NS duh?! Oh but he was nice enough about it. Haha. And i heard him sighing softly to himself how he misses his mom when it was time for us all to leave and go home. Haha. That well, just fills ur heart with sympathy for them doesn't it? That place is great, but it's still not home. And i can understand how they feel. Anyway, just to sum up, if there's anything i learn on my trip there, it's that that's the exact place where boys really do become real men, like gentlemen yet tough at the same time, over there. I mean, just look at what a few months there has turned those officer cadets only 2 yrs older than us into? Great work.

No doubt of course, there are already some gentlemen amidst us now. This guy lifted the food tray that collects our plates at the canteen volunteerily when he saw me carrying 5 empty chicken rice plates approaching the trays today. And i thought that was real sweet. We sure need more like him around. =)

Okay, two more days and counting to the end of this year..woohoo!

_.a heart beat._ 02:22

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09/10/07 - :

It's amazing how you
can speak right to my heart.
Without saying a word
you can light up the dark.

Try as i may
i can never explain
what i hear when you don't say a thing.

The smile on ur face
lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes
saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand
says you'll catch me wherever i fall

You say it best
when you say nothing at all..

All day long i can hear people talking out loud
but when you're holding near
You drown out the crowd
Try as they may
they can never define
what's been said between your heart and mine...

The smile on your face
the truth in ur eyes
the touch of ur hand
lets me know...

Chem spa's finally over. Yays! Which marks the actual end of promos! You can never imagine the immense outburst of joy i felt when i handed in the paper..haha..felt like a prisoner who's chains just been unshackled after a whole century of imprisonment, just absolutely FREE! Haha. Well, i'm really glad ya.

Oh well, i've also finished harry potter's seventh. Maybe i've grown up over the years reading it or maybe i sought for a different genre at this age, i think it's not something fantastically well-written afterall, but still, it provides a conclusive ending to something i once was crazy after and that's good enough.

You know, just an afterthought, i might just be able to finally understand how in this world why people always say one cannot exist without the other. Like how there can be no joy without hurt, no good without bad, so on and so forth. I must admit, i'm like that. I can't have appreciated what's really good and well done without first seeing or experiencing for myself what's bad or disastrously done. And today, instead of complaining that i hate people who try to push the blame to others and never themselves, going a little too far with their words sometimes, i got to see the others who has been quietly working at the back of it all to try and make things work all the while. Maybe not always offering the best solutions but still, for the thought of it. And i'm really grateful for that. Those who might have otherwise gone unnoticed and unappreciated for their quiet endurance, patience and keen interest to cooperate and get things done. Yep. =)

I got to play at the swings at yx's house again today. Haha. A small boy even asked me to push his swing for him. Kept saying, "I wanna go higher, i wanna go higher". Really cute. Haha especially how he muttered a soft thank you before he left. Kids. They can be so adorable sometimes. =)

_.a heart beat._ 21:23

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05/10/07 - :

YAYS! Promos are over. But was kinda too tired to write anything ytd, so now that my energy store has been replenished, i'm BACK. =)

Went to vivo then to orchard today. Really need a leg massage after all that marathon walking. Whew. Better than doing yoga and gyming. I mean, what's beats getting cranked up by the usual folks too at the same time. =P

Had secret recipe for lunch before skipping back to the cinema to catch RATATOUILLE! with a bag of popcorn and spilt coke. Haha it's a great show anyway! Pretty inspired by 'Anyone can cook' phrase. Hmm..maybe i'll try something a little bolder next time? Who wants a Spagetti with fried Chocolate mushrooms or or a Onion Cream Cheese Cake eh? Haha just kidding, i hate onions anyway but whatever it is, all i know is the first step of any successful recipe will definitely say "DO NOT INVITE BLURDUCK and LAULAU". Haha if u vaguely recall our brownie failure last year!

I got my flip flops too! But not before laulau broke hers too. Haha. And we tried securing the strap with hairpins! Like three girls kneeling and bending down right in the middle of Topshop trying to fix a shoe. I think i ended up looking like some goofy aunty coughing out some fashion statement in the most unglam way. And then just to make sure we could make it out of the shop to the nearest seats, we exchanged shoes cos afterall, guess who can glide more nimbly and lady-like other than ahem* me? ^^ No la..haha it's not the first time i've been trying to 'walk' around with a broken shoe anyway. Haha. Anyways, all the better reason to shop for new shoes. So yea. Haha yays and got the CD 'Movie Love Songs' which i've been listening to the whole night for like at least ten times. It's really nice, i like romantic songs i guess.

Oh oh then we took a train down to Orchard. Haha things started becoming more unusual first by bumbing into mr cadence lim and some other ac teachers at taka. And they practically saw us avoiding them la! Haha then with aly being approached by a china lady who couldn't get a cab and we had to bring her to the queue-up line. After that, OMG, we saw this two big headed jap mascots at cine. Haha they were really cute, so i exclaimed when i saw them until they saw us and started charging towards us! AAAaaahhh omg, imagine having two mascots with big and oversized heads running towards u!! We were like screaming and running in the other direction! Haha and i bet those groups of cj and acsi guys arnd that area were laughing at us too okayy! Gosh, twas' embarrassing.

_.a heart beat._ 23:10

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